I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
