piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
and i looked up. we had an audience...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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