I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
