I could have mohawked her pubes.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
