he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
