Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
