they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
