Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
