I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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