Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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