But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize