I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
