ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
