Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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