i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
