I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
