So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
