Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
