party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
