your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
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