I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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