I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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