So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
