it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
