she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize