aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
