4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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