If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
