Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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