What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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