So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
