your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
