Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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