Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
