I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
