you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
