he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
