We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
