She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
