Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize