My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
