I don't usually arrange sex via text message
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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