I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
