matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
