All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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