Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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