she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
