Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
