BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
