The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
