so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
