Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
only you would photoshop your dick
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
