come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We have started to decorate penises.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
