So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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