ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
