my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
