I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
