Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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