It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize