My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
